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Sunday, September 21, 2008
, 1:04 PM
⇨my #47 story
okay. this time, I'M OFFICIALLY A DECLAN GALBRAITH FAN! he's too cute and he's song are emotional and has a meaning to it. i like it!
today, my 'ustadz' sort of gave me a lecture. i think he's disgusted by my behaviour. he said i was rude and arrogant? i still don't understand the meaning of 'arrogant'. he said 'sombong'? DOTS.
i talked about my bad story. i guess the girls and 'ustadz' were a bit shocked. then he say i need to change. well, there's a reason why i'm trying to be bad. i want to get my parents attention. you know, i'm adopted so doctors said that adopted children needs to get more attention because of their life. because the adopted children suddenly know that you're not the real child. so its kind of shocking. i've found out in primary 4 but i dun really understand it back then and my parents brought the matter up in primary 6. then, i understood everything. i've always thought i was in their family. but i wasn't. you know, my heart was broken into pieces. i dare not show my sadness and frustration infront of them so i just said 'its okay' but i wasn't okay.
till now, i yet to find out my biological parents. at least, i know i have a mother but no father. i was really disappointed. i've been holding this secret of mine for a long of time. but i can't hold it forever. i have to let it go.
so you see. after hearing the truth, i've been not so close with my family as we used to be. there's this barrier thats blocking me from entering. its like saying, 'you're not a part of our family so you can't enter.'
so i've been doing what they said - study hard. i'm just following what they've given me to be like. they're protective of me because they're afraid to lose me and there was this policy that says i must not come to any harm. so i tried my best not to let them worry.
MOM & DAD. EVENTHOUGH YOU'RE NOT MY FAMILY, I'VE ALWAYS TREATED YOU LIKE MY OWN. & I'M GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF ME. NOTHING CAN EXPRESS MY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU. THEREFORE, THANK YOU. <3
today, my 'ustadz' sort of gave me a lecture. i think he's disgusted by my behaviour. he said i was rude and arrogant? i still don't understand the meaning of 'arrogant'. he said 'sombong'? DOTS.
i talked about my bad story. i guess the girls and 'ustadz' were a bit shocked. then he say i need to change. well, there's a reason why i'm trying to be bad. i want to get my parents attention. you know, i'm adopted so doctors said that adopted children needs to get more attention because of their life. because the adopted children suddenly know that you're not the real child. so its kind of shocking. i've found out in primary 4 but i dun really understand it back then and my parents brought the matter up in primary 6. then, i understood everything. i've always thought i was in their family. but i wasn't. you know, my heart was broken into pieces. i dare not show my sadness and frustration infront of them so i just said 'its okay' but i wasn't okay.
till now, i yet to find out my biological parents. at least, i know i have a mother but no father. i was really disappointed. i've been holding this secret of mine for a long of time. but i can't hold it forever. i have to let it go.
so you see. after hearing the truth, i've been not so close with my family as we used to be. there's this barrier thats blocking me from entering. its like saying, 'you're not a part of our family so you can't enter.'
so i've been doing what they said - study hard. i'm just following what they've given me to be like. they're protective of me because they're afraid to lose me and there was this policy that says i must not come to any harm. so i tried my best not to let them worry.
MOM & DAD. EVENTHOUGH YOU'RE NOT MY FAMILY, I'VE ALWAYS TREATED YOU LIKE MY OWN. & I'M GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF ME. NOTHING CAN EXPRESS MY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU. THEREFORE, THANK YOU. <3